Thoughtpick: A unique perspective of the Web and social media...
A unique perspective of the Web and social media...

October 23, 2009

Would You Be Mine… Online? The Pros & Cons of Online Dating

Are online relationships healthy, may they be through MSN Messenger, Facebook, Twitter or any specialized dating services? What are the advantages and disadvantages of relationships that are through social media from a purely neutral point of view?

Online Dating… What’s the deal?

Online Dating...

Online Dating...

Online dating seems to be one of the long lasting trends of the high-speed age we are living, especially to those individuals who are on the fast-track to career success and have no time for old-fashioned romance! Furthermore, and due to the many bad experiences people go through as a result of failed love relationship, online dating seems to be the solution to many people out there seeking to find true love that would last, overcome the superficial and have an actual happy ending!

But the question the love seekers should ask is: Is online dating really the solution? And what are the pros and cons it entails?

As is the case with almost every online service and tool, such as using Twitter at the enterprise, online dating is a double-edged sword with the advantages being as real and effective as the disadvantages.

The Advantages of Online Dating:

Building relationships online and, especially through social media, entails the following advantages:

  1. Deeper Interaction: Yes, although it might sound exactly the opposite, building relationships online can help formulate a deeper interaction shy from superficial judging. It is not the weight, the height, the color of the eyes or the fairness of the skin that is able to create a bond, it is the things in common the two people have that bring them together and sustain the relationship.
  2. More Openness: It is not a secret that many of us can open to more to strangers than we can to friends or family members. This applies to people we meet online as well. The fact that we can not really see the facial expressions and read the body language that come as a result to our ideas and what we say, allows us to speak our minds more openly.
  3. Like-Mindedness: Both social media sites and online dating services encourage their members to add a brief bio about themselves at minimum. This way, it is easy to check out members’ profiles and shortlist the ones who you would be most interested in getting to know better.
  4. Ease of Termination: Usually, the hardest part of any relationship is the part when the relationship has consumed its course and has come to an end. Online relationships can help cut down the drama to a certain extent and also allow for less time to move on.

The Disadvantages of Online Dating:

As I have mentioned earlier, online dating can be a double-edges sword with two prickly ends rather than one. This is where the disadvantages of online dating come in play:

  1. Lack of Trust: To so many people, it is hard to give trust to others based on bad experiences and such. As hard as it is to earn the trust of a partner whom you can see, communicate with and discuss different topics and issues of concern, it is even harder to achieve trust online.
  2. Ease of Deception: One might argue that one, who is willing to lie, will lie either way, online or face to face. I agree. But, I think it is way easier to lie online through creating unrealistic stories and claiming misleading characteristics.
  3. Missing Big Chunks: Relationships, at least the ones that are meant to last, constitute of many elements which need to be present, simultaneously to ensure their longevity. Through online dating, big chunks of the relationship are missing such as body language, tone of voice and so on.
  4. Reality Shock: Let’s say the online chats went great and smooth. In a few months, you decide to meet up with the “love of your life”. It is much possible to be disappointed after the first face to face meeting, which, in real life, could have been the first and the last date!

What Is Your Say?

Finally, what would you say to online dating after having read my analysis of its advantages and disadvantages? Would you consider doing it? And do you have any successful online dating stories with a happy ending that you’d like to share?

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Beirut: ThoughtPick's Web marketing consultant, content writer and copy-editor. Born into a well-rounded and educated family igniting her interest in reading, writing and research. Graduated from the Lebanese American University with a bachelor's degree, with honors, in Marketing followed by an MBA. Currently an active writer, poet and blogger.
  • Thanks for the great reading, university dating . I will pass this on to our Ira clients to read.
  • redgrouper
    Don't have to use these services as I am happily married. However, when I was single I was very shy/awkward about dating and would have valued the ease with which poeple can now interact. I think it is good that people are enhancing their lives with the benefits of new technology. I do find the online communities of Twitter and Facebook very enjoyable so even if you don't need a mate you can enjoy the benefits of sharing opinions and making new friends online.
  • I can't vouch for "online dating sites" as such, and to be honest were I in the market nowadays, I'd be far more hesitant or cautious than I was back when most webizens were more intelligent/nerdy (simply by the nature of the internet's learning curve at the time). And though I agree with your list as posted, I still feel that the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages.

    I was always shy and insecure as a teen, which was a significant hurdle to overcome in the dating scene. But my writing/typing skills were such that I was able to express and present myself online in ways I was otherwise incapable in "real life." Within a few years of roaming the wilds of the web in the mid 90's [when even pictures were a bit of a novelty, never mind audio or video], I had made a lot of friends, including @Betani, with whom I got along exceptionally well. Internet chats & emails evolved into phonecalls [though it would've been Skype nowadays], eventually leading to a face-to-face visit, which scared the crap out of us both. But she and I just celebrated our 11th anniversary last week, so obviously it worked out. ';D (Results may vary, of course. As with any investment, there is some risk involved.)

    One last comment: And I wasn't looking for a relationship when Betani and I met online. It just sorta... happened.
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