Who Has Not Joined Facebook Yet?

With Facebook hitting the 500 million user mark, it is astounding how many people are on it. When it comes to the States, almost 150 million people are on the site; that’s half of the states’ population. If we eliminate those who are too young or too old, too stupid, or in jail we will end up with about 20 million users in the United States who managed to hold off from joining the social media revolution.

So I was curious to figure out who might those people be and why might they not have joined Facebook.

The Country Club Retirees

Oh the life!

These are the people who have everything they want in life and they are unplugged from the hustle and tussle of life. They are in their mid-fifties, hang out in the country club with their friends and chill in the evening in a fund raiser event or to watch Agrippina at the opera house. They are content in their way and don’t care about being adopters of newer technology. Moreover, they already meet all their friends regularly and don’t see a need to be more “in touch” with them more than they already are.

What would it take for them to join: They stop receiving their grandchildren’s pictures on their emails and are blackmailed into joining Facebook in order for them to be able to see the photos.

The Super Elitists

Have some Cake?

They are the creme de la creme of the social elite who find Facebook too – how should it be put – populace. It is far too easy to be on Facebook, there is no exclusivity to it and has the stench of the “everyday man” all over it and they would rather drink a malt beer rather than have their name show up as one of the profiles on Facebook. Some of them regret their decision of holding out from joining the site but now can’t bare to join and see that they have “ZERO” friends.

What would it take for them to join: Nothing! They already created their own uber-exclusive and status-conscious social media sites such as the Black Card Circle which caters to their tastes.

The Privacy Paranoids

Everything will be OK!

These are the people that view Facebook as the tool of the Illuminati, the extremists on the right and left of the political spectrum, the politicians that rather not be too out there, and those academics that rather not be in the public sphere. Whatever reasons they might give for their “friending” impotence, it boils down to one reason: they worry about their privacy and being crucified –literally or figuratively – for a slip on the social network.

What would it take for them to join: They might join if Facebook refudiates [this misspelling is intentional] any ties they have to the Illuminati, chupacabras, aliens, blond Jews and every other conspiracy theory out there and assure the people that their privacy is assured and that not a single piece of information on the network will result in a scandal to them… even then they will protest that this just to get them bite the bait.

The Hardcore Techies

Super Geek

These are the people who not only know what “phreaking” is but they still do it! They were the early adopters of the internet, the ones that viewed it as the geeks Valhalla and the only place where there is justice on this “earth”, that is until Facebook ruined everything and brought the jocks over to the geeks playground.

What would it take for them to join: They did join, but only to write a tutorial on how to best eliminate any trace of your Facebook profile and delete all of its data. Beyond that they, have no interest in the Facebook culture and rather stick to their IRC channels.

So basically, and in conclusion, Facebook can’t do much to attract any of them, and since everyone else who is able to is already on it, they will have to wait until the younger generation comes of age and starts joining its legions.

Who from your friends is holding out from joining Facebook? How would you describe them?

Comments and Reactions

6 responses to “Who Has Not Joined Facebook Yet?”

  1. Beiruta says:

    Great list! I know a few really geeky folks and a few people who are so against sharing their private lives with others who have still not joined Facebook yet! I would describe them as extra smart! :)

  2. Mike Handy says:

    Really enjoyed this list… good work glad someone cleared it up

  3. Stefan63atIBM says:

    Why doesn't it surprise me, that privacy is not taking serious? And elitists and nerds don't like Facebook. Come on. A bit more critical view on Facebook and not naive applause.

    A typical European, who likes privacy, nerds and geeks.

    And who still is on Facebook.

  4. M.Bamieh says:

    not quite sure where you saw applause to Facebook in my post, well besides the fact that they hit the 500 million mark.
    privacy is not being taken seriously by Facebook but its still growing and a good chunk of people don't want to join because they have concerns about privacy

  5. M.Bamieh says:

    Thanks for dropping by ;)

  6. Jari says:

    Thank god for stumbleupon, I smiled ^^

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